Vote for your favorite Trump porn fantasy

Missiles in Syria! Obamacare Repeal! The Nuclear Option! Omarosa’s Wedding! When did news of the Trump Administration get so stressful?

We here at xHamster long for the days when Trump was a staple of newspaper entertainment sections, and when the ‘pussyhat’ still meant merkin. We know we’re in a brave new world, however, and we’re here to give you relief — and hopefully bring down your bl0od pressure.

Below are five scenarios we’ve come up with for our first very bigly Trump Porn Parody starring internet sensation, John Brutal. He’s aching to try out his Trump impersonation naked, and we’re going to be on hand to film it. But what should it be?

Vote for your top Trump fantasy, and bring it to life when we film our first scene next month.

But don’t forget to vote! Unlike in the Electoral College, your vote actually counts!

1. The Closer
A summit between Trump and Mexican President Enrique Pena Nieto have reached an impasse. President Nieto has refused to pay for it, and that curly bastard Rand Paul is blocking the allocation of funds in Congress. Trump sends in Ivanka in to close the deal. 

2. Drain My Swamp
After the failure of the healthcare bill, President Trump looks for an easy victory. KellyAnne Conway thinks she has a solution — and it has at least one major poll rising! 

3. First Wives Club
After an old photo of Ivanka Trump at Planned Parenthood surfaces, Trump goes on the hunt for leakers. Finally, only three suspects remain. Trump calls in his wives — Melania, Marla and Ivana — for a final grilling. 

4. First Lady of the Night
It’s Melania’s first night in the White House, and she can’t sleep because the bed isn’t gold enough. She wakes to find her husband in a compromising position — watching a certain pretty lady on MSNBC! What she does next is more scandalous than any foreign dossier.

5. This Sure Ain’t The Popular Vote XXX
Trump learns he’s been impeached, that Melania is filing for divorce, and through a bizarre Senate procedure, Bernie Sanders is now president. No sex, just a liberal fantasy.